ꕤ Preamble

> focussing

"I should focus on something in my life. I like to draw. I should illustrate a book. I like to write. I should write a novel. I like plants. I should work at a garden center. I should really take a deep dive into this passion of mine. I should make it my own. This is who I am. I should get into copywriting. Make it my career. I will be remembered for one cool big thing. Something I can make into a number. Easy to put on my resume, my profile, my epitaph."

 

Maybe I lack focus. Maybe I should be "known" for "something" by now. Sometimes I think I could really try, but most of me wants a mode of being that isn't tied to my role in production or consumption. The impulse to be consistent comes from the outside. If I maintain a consistent vibe or "have a brand", I am easier to parse, sell, buy, digest, hire, fire, share. Even if I need to have some of those things done to me, do I have to allow them to be done well?

    Is this actually a choice or just how I am? Do I need to defend my decisions or essence?

	mistaking the form
		for the spirit
✨

 

---

✾ Amble

> "Hares, may the air be your recourse"

Have you ever smelled black walnut? It's fresh and intoxicating - a sharp astringent acrid smell! Ending with the bitter tang of walnut.

I mentioned the wonders of black walnut fragrance to my dad while he was resting. He shared that once he had ringworm on his chest (a red circle that was inflamed). His grandpa told him to take black walnut juice and rub it on it. So he crushed a black walnut and rubbed the juice on it. Turned his skin dark and got rid of the ringworm.

There are many reasons why people grow plants - to get rid of ring worm, for food, oxygen, and the ever-popular "looks."

🌱🐇✨

All plants are worthy of praise - every root system is the foundation of an altar. Even giant hogwood, even poison ivy. I recognize that all plants have inherent beauty, but I cannot deny that I am drawn to specific plants for idiosyncratic, causative, and socio-cultural reasons. Some causes and effects created me, created the image of the plant in my mind, created our interaction, created my fascination. I recognize and participate in the resulting fascination and adoration.

Haremint (Lagochilus) has been my focus for several years. Rabbits started out as a stand-in for haremint, a symbol for the plant itself. Rabbits and hares carry all the beautiful associations - swiftness, multiplication, softness, madness - of the plant itself. (There is a difference between a rabbit and a hare, but I don't think much about it). I have doodled rabbits for years now, drawing ideas from many places/people/times.

The rabbit hops and kicks. It hides and tricks. And is tricked. It runs from and falls prey to. Emerges from its burrow to hop again.

A plant is an animal which moves through my body, imagination, and actions.

Coney, an old word for rabbit, which is pronounced like honey, inspires sweetness. This week I have been pollinating the oldest haremint with a brush, and when its flowers fall off, I put the back end of the flower in my mouth and taste its nectar. It's hare mouth is my mouth.

❀ Postamble

> two-wording

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『﹆』 ﹄〓﹃ ┗﹅┛ ︻ 【╭╮】 〖︼〗 ╝╔╗╚   good-bye, c a s e y